Restorative Collapse

by tooafraid

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released January 8, 2016



all rights reserved
Track Name: Dear Friend,
One day you will wake up and realize
that the only reason it took so long to be happy
was so that you can see life through real eyes
because the key to happiness
does not lie in artificial grades and friends
and when you can comprehend this,
you’ll lose sight of an untimely end
there will still be times when music means nothing
and the sky isn’t pretty
but you must honestly tell yourself
that this is a crucial point in becoming happy
and when that time comes,
don’t forget the uncertainty of your past
embrace it and face the fact
that it will keep you on the path away from reliving that
add next time the sun doesn’t shine,
understand why you need to continue to try to live your life

no matter how small, there is a spot for everyone
so try to find it before declaring yourself done
with trying for things like life and love
know that you are the only one
that can control your final destination
so you might as well work at making it one
that you wouldn’t mind living in
because whether it’s
school, friends, your shit job, family, or keeping up with current trends

everything is temporary
and the life you are living now is not the life you’ll be living at the end

live to appreciate the small things like
pets or the beautiful embrace of a sunset
because it will come for everyone eventually,

but there’s no reason to rush towards death

and above all, just love yourself, friend.
Track Name: Suspended In Time
I slid the tape into my cassette player and closed it.
The lo-fi recording illuminated my darkened room.
I turned the knob to full volume.
My body hit the floor and I punched it.
The pain my knuckles endeared was a mere annoyance in comparison to the the bullet hole in my chest
and the exit wound through my heart.

I layed in a place where everything was nothing
and language had lost all meaning to me.
I weaved in and out of the shadows of my mind,
guided by an obscure looking 4-legged mammal with no face.

Your voice called for me from the grass. Your face was so beautiful. Crickets rubbed their legs together in anticipation,
and I used all the confidence I had to move mine.
I sat beside you, legs crossed.

Your boots were laced with laces that resembled the night sky
which held all of its nothingness and my fingers laced between yours and it was such an unimportant detail of that nighy
if it was even night yet

The tape stopped playing.
My heart stopped beating.
The birds stopped chirping.
The moon’s fluorescent light stopped shining through the crack in my window.

Time resumed.
Track Name: Reflection
Being alive isn't such a dilemma
and I came to terms with that when I realized that moving forward
isn't listening to different music
but listening to the same music and finding a different meaning

And I never knew how bad I was until I got better
but I burned down all my bridges long ago
and left myself with no escape
so I'll let myself melt into the emptiness of my bed and evaporate

I'll turn up the music and stop looking both ways
and I'm scared of getting close so I'll keep saying that I'm lonely
but please don't try to hold me because you don't really want to know me
Track Name: Sincerely Hope
Given a long enough life-span you wouldn't even remember my existence

so I'll write my lyrics as cryptic codes in hopes that you'll wonder if that one line was about you
so I can stay in your head a few extra minutes

and I knew that you were toxic and honestly that's probably what drew me to you

so I'll stick a gun in my mouth to rid my head of your name