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about

I had a dream that me and you were walking
and then your eyes grew large and darkened
and you stabbed me 17 times before melting into the ground
and I collapsed
allowing the sky to blanket me
in it's soft blues and whites

And In my dream I wake up covered in blood
with no recollection of how I got there
or where I was
all I knew was that I was in a place
that I no longer wanted to be
so I ran

I ran until the ground blended with the trees, blended with the sky
I ran until I knew, but didn't care, that if I fell I would've died
I ran until everything was nothing and you were the only thing on my mind
and then I stopped
and I was terrified

Because I had an uneasy feeling that I was stuck in a fixed point
and the ground simply moved under my feet
that everything around me lived freely but I was stuck paralyzed
and I could no longer see through both my eyes
but I've never seen so clearly
and then I was in your living room
and we were sitting and watching TV
until your parents were asleep
until the grass was green
and I couldn't see straight
but my life felt so put together
whatever we were doing that night
had felt so relevant at the time

I let you treat me like shit because being treated like
shit was better than being treated like nothing at all
and that may not make sense to you
but didn't your parents ever tell you that not everything makes sense?

You just gotta be okay with that
because everyone is fighting their own battles

I'm okay with that

I think I'm okay with that

credits

from Restorative Collapse, released January 8, 2016

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